kids

kidlets 2 · "Three Oreo Minimum" by Dr. Philip Edward Kaldon
                 a story of eating cookies

Three Oreo Minimum
by Dr. Philip Edward Kaldon

“We need some cookies,” Dennis said in the middle of driving the dump truck through the sand box.

“I can ask my mom,” Harold said.

“We got Oreos,” his younger brother Oliver said.

“Yeah, but if you ask your mom, we’ll just get two cookies.”

“One for each hand,” Harold agreed. Oliver nodded, too. It was the way they did cookies in their family.

But two wasn’t enough for Dennis. “You should let me ask for the cookies. I can get us more.”

“Really?” Oliver said excitedly.

“I’m not so sure,” Harold said slowly.

“Relax.” Dennis grinned. “It’ll be great – you’ll see.”

“Okay,” Harold stood up and began to brush the sand from his blue jeans.

Now Dennis had to put up or shut up, so he stood, slapped the sand from his pants and tucked in his shirt. “Let’s go,” he said, sounding more brave than he felt.

The three boys came in from the back yard, through the garage, tromped up the back stairs and into the kitchen. The cookies were stored in a cabinet above the refrigerator, way out of reach of the little boys.

“You sure you don’t want me to climb up there and get them?” Dennis asked, looking up at the cabinet.

“You’ll get us into trouble,” Harold said.

“Mom can count,” Oliver added.

“Suit yourselves. We’ll try my plan now.”

“Mom?” Harold called out.

“Mrs. Randolph?” Dennis added his voice.

Mrs. Randolph came in and smiled at the three grinning boys.

“I bet you’d like a snack,” she said, heading to the refrigerator to get out the milk. “Would you boys like some cookies?”

“Can we have Oreos?” Oliver asked, as his mother got three glasses out of the cupboard by the sink.

“Well… why not?” she agreed, reaching up and getting the package of Oreo sandwich cream cookies. “Now, hold out your hands.”

Six little hands appeared and Mrs. Randolph pulled out six cookies, carefully putting one in each hand. She went to put the cookies away, but Dennis was still standing there with his hands out. In the left hand, there was an Oreo. The right was empty. He looked up at her expectantly.

“What do you say, Dennis Baker?” Mrs. Randolph asked.

Dennis suddenly didn’t feel good. He knew the answer was Please, but he had a whole Oreo cookie stuck in his mouth and he couldn’t speak.

“Cat got your tongue?” she smiled, and held up one more Oreo cookie and looked at it. “Do you think I don’t know I gave you two cookies, Dennis Baker? And that you popped one in your mouth to try to trick me? Do you think your mother would be pleased to know that you tried to lie when visiting your friends’ house?”

The cookie in Dennis’ mouth seemed awfully dry now.

“You’ve got your two cookies – now just don’t choke on that first one,” Mrs. Randolph said. As Dennis began to slowly chew the cookie in his mouth, she turned to her own boys. “You weren’t going to try to pull the same stunt, were you?”

Oliver shook his head vigorously No.

“No, Mom,” Harold said carefully. “Thanks for the cookies.”

“Thanks for the Oreos, Mom,” Oliver added.

“Thhhank yeh, Mithuth Wandoff,” Dennis said, his mouth still full of cookie.

“You’re quite welcome,” she said, taking a bite of the cookie in her own hand. Then she leaned over and smiled at Dennis. “And don’t talk with your mouth full, young man.”

“I told you,” Harold said, as soon as they were alone with their milk and cookies.

“Mom can count,” Oliver added. “One for each hand.”

“Shut up,” Dennis said, but his friends were grinning at him and he wasn’t really mad at them. In a moment the three boys were giggling in the kitchen.